The Paki Traveller

Ever heard yourself say “glad to be a Pakistani” while travelling or living abroad? Well, the chances are that you haven’t. Hence the blog.

Of all the ingredients that make you a Pakistani, you’ve got to admit desi totkas and biryani is what remains the integral part of your Pakistani-Side. And believe me or not, on travels or life far from home it helps like a charm.

The unforgiving The ultimate; BIRYANI

To begin with, let’s start with icebreakers. Never have a Pakistani had trouble with that. Having had awkward encounters with stranger aunties and uncles and their children at almost every Shaddi, Valima and Eid dawats we’re now pros at striking a conversation with any one we come across or worst case scenario, avoid a conversation. However being a Pakistani itself is the best Icebreaker that ever was. As nominal as we think being a Pakistani may sound it is equally amusing for anyone on this planet to run into one, be it good or bad they have thousands of questions they want to ask straight away, there goes your two hours of conversation trying to clarify things. “Yes, we have internet and cars in Pakistan! No, we are not Taliban. No we never glorified Osama bin Laden. Yes, women too can work in our country. And yes, it is common for a Pakistani to speak in English and be literate in general.” And oh, you better thank the Lord you’re from Pakistan and not any other South Asian country for your accent would’ve called for an overflow of call centre and curry jokes.

Yes, this is what Pakistan is

As the travel proceeds we all come across awful and unexpected situations at some point or the other; being mugged right outside JFK airport in New York, facing a power outage at your hotel in Istanbul, being chased by a gypsy in Bratislava or going without water for a week straight at your hostel in Bucharest, getting stuck in hours long traffic in São Paulo will seem like another routine day you spend back home in Pakistan. Thanks to K-Electric, Sindh Police, WAPDA and all the respective development authorities that have made sure to immunize us with the worst possible scenario one could be in. But really, to look at the brighter side it helps us with survival any and everywhere around the globe. Nevertheless it’s not just our immune-to-all-situations super power that help, there’s actually a lot more to it. Talk about mastering DIY’s and all sorts of life-hacks no one does it better than a Pakistani, thanks to our very own Zubaida Apa and her totkas. Ironing clothes without an iron, saving yourself from the sun, cooking food with the least of ingredients or recovering from an evil headache- leave it to our Desi totkas and the jobs done!

Of all the necessities of life food and music are the most highly rated ones world-wide and we ace both of them. Literally. Jokes apart, my Hungarian friend called me a couple of days ago and asked me whether I could courier him Nihari, on one trip my Egyptian friend caught me carrying Chicken Tikka Masala in my suitcase, well, that was the last time I saw the Masala packet in there. Time to give credit to Pakistani cuisine and moms. Try cooking biryani for a goora then sit back and see them lose their mind over it. Same goes for our ever enticing music, put on a Sufi medley or your Coke Studio playlist and watch people go cuckoo. Not to forget the most lethal weapon a Pakistani carries. Punjabi Bhangra. There’s no club-playlist in the world that is complete without a touch of any of our Bhangra songs.   

Lastly, never was there a place on earth where you can’t find a Pakistani. Whichever country you visit whatever city you go to you’ll always find a Pakistani. From Stockholm in Sweden to Santiago in Chile to Auckland in New Zealand there will always be a Pakistani where ever you go. If by some miracle, that too with one in a million chances, there isn’t one, then don’t worry. With a contribution of 17.5% population to the entire world you’ll at least end up finding an Indian who speaks the same language and eats the same daal chawal as you do.

PAKISTAN ZINDABAD!